Pain Disguised as Insanity
by AngelDemonSakura
Summary: Tsunade couldn't believe that she had just traded her precious apprentice over to the Akatsuki, but she didn't know who to feel more sorry for. Herself... or the Akatsuki.
1. Deal With the Devil

**Disclaimer:** I'm sorry, but you must be retarded to think That I own Naruto. I recommend getting tested.

**PS:** This is the angsty prologue. It shall be funny soon enough.

* * *

There was a tense silence in the air as a busty blonde woman tried to register the sight before her from her position at her desk. Five men dressed in black cloaks with red clouds had entered her office just minutes before after demanding to see her for negotiations. When she had allowed them to enter with an army guarding the surrounding area, they simply walked forward without blinking.

"Akatsuki." She growled.

"Hokage-san." Their supposed leader responded nonchalantly. He had auburn hair that spiked out on all sides and many piercings littered his face. Even with his casual attitude, his piercing ringed eyes gave told Tsunade that he kept his guard up.

"Why are you here, in the village that wants you dead the most?" she glared icily at them.

"To negotiate." He answered simply.

Tsunade gave this some thought. Surely they wouldn't come to _her_ of all people to help unless they desperately needed it, or knew they would get their way. Akatsuki wasn't some two-bit, careless gang. They were an internationally infamous organization with all of their members wanted in several nations.

"Humor me." Tsunade scoffed.

The man paused for a second before beginning, "My name is Pein, and I am leader of the Akatsuki."

Tsunade nodded for him to continue.

"With war on the horizon, we would like to become temporary allies with Konoha." He stated bluntly.

"Allies? With the village you've been harassing for years? Forgive me for being completely suspicious." She snarled at him.

Pein blinked and decided to explain, "We would like to negotiate with you."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes in suspicion before nodding for him to continue.

"We will not attack your village, nor any of your allies, and we will stop pursuing the Kyuubi jinchuriki for the duration of the treaty. In exchange, we require that you and your allies stop pursuing _us_." He explained.

Tsunade had intertwined her fingers together and rested her face on them while contemplating her decision. She wanted to completely refuse and have them executed on the spot, but her earlier musings were correct. They played their trump card first. Their numerous attempts at capturing Naruto had been the bulk of the problem, as he has made many strong and influential friends in the village.

Tsunade's eyes flickered to the man standing to Pein's left and a bit behind him. Uchiha Itachi. The man that had single-handedly murdered his entire clan, save his little brother. The council wanted him dead above all else as does his brother, Sasuke, who defected from the village to join their enemy.

Next to Uchiha was Hoshigaki Kisame, a veteran member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. His chakra could be almost on par with a bijuu's and he was renowned for his chakra-sucking sword, Samehada. This man had fought with Might Guy several times, and it didn't end well.

To Pein's right was a blonde man with his hair up in a high ponytail, Deidara. He was the man who helped kidnap the Kazekage, Gaara, and was initially believed to be dead until sightings of him were reported. A master bomber, Deidara was wanted in several nations for his acts of terrorism.

When Tsunade saw the last man, her mouth dropped and she began to see red. Remembering the details of the battle for Gaara's body, this man's description was imbedded in her mind. Akasuna no Sasori. Tsunade gripped her knuckles with her intertwined fingers so hard, they were shaking slightly.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you chose these four just to piss me off." Tsunade chuckled coldly before taking out a bottle of sake and pouring it in a saucer-like cup, "If you had at least left the Uchiha and puppet master at home, I might've given you an answer."

"And what trust would come of that, Hokage-san" Pein reasoned.

Tsunade cursed under her breath at his logic and decided to just take a swig from the bottle, the cup left forgotten.

Cursing herself and her terrible luck, Tsunade leveled him with a glare, "This is not a light proposal you have given me, and as such I can't simply answer you immediately," The sannin narrowed her eyes in frustration, "You may stay in the hotel close to this tower until my mind is made up. I don't think I need to warn you not to leave the hotel until then."

Pein nodded and turned to follow the anbu squad that were summoned to escort them, before following after them. The four others followed close behind him with Uchiha being the last to get out. Tsunade waited until she no longer heard any footsteps before dropping her head in her hands and letting out a string of curses.

A certain jounin materialized out of the shadows, his book nowhere in sight.

"Are you actually considering their proposal?" he asked.

"I really don't want to, Kakashi, and they knew that," Tsunade growled and took another large swig of sake before continuing her rant, "Their leader, Pein, may have talked with respect and modesty, but he knew that he had the upper hand. Konoha needs as many allies as we can get, and a group of some of the strongest ninja out there would definitely benefit us. He was practically insulting me with his polite attitude." Tsunade laughed humorlessly.

"Plus they'd stop hunting Naruto until the end of the war, and who knows how far away that is? It might just give us a few years to build up his defenses." Kakashi thought aloud.

"They came knowing they'd win. Shizune!" she called out.

Her assistant ran into her office immediately, "Yes, Tsunade-sama?" she asked.

"Contact the Kazekage and the leaders of our other allies." Tsunade ordered begrudgingly."

"Hai." She then disappeared behind the door.

A few seconds passed in silence before Kakashi sighed and walked to Tsuande's desk, "Mind if I have some?" he motioned to the sake in her hand.

"Help yourself." She replied, taking out another bottle.

"Are you being serious right now?"

"I do not approve."

"Have you lost your mind?!"

Tsunade had lost her temper and slammed her hand on the desk, making it split in two and making the table the monitors were on shake from the impact, effectively hushing the people on the screens.

The Kazekage, who had remained silent throughout this entire meeting, had decided to speak, "Do not senselessly refuse without knowing the entire story." He said.

Whispers and mumbles came from the different screens, giving Tsunade the chance to explain.

"Enough. I understand what's at stake, but this is too great of a deal to refuse. With them no longer disturbing our villages we can focus on preparing for the war, and we could use them as leverage. No one likes them and many fear them, this something we could use against our enemies to dissuade them from attacking. I probably hate them more than most of you, but I'm willing to take their offer." Tsuande reasoned.

A few hours and many arguments later, Tsunade had her answer.

Tsunade glared at the group that had entered her office with obvious distaste and aggravation.

"You proposed a temporary peace treaty correct? I have my answer for you." Tsunade began before downing a bottle of sake and throwing it on the ground with the others.

"It pains me greatly to say this, but we accept your offer."

* * *

ADS~

I'm somewhat **confused** as to whether this is more** angsty** or **dramatic**. Sometimes I think people use **both** of those** genres** because they **can't tell the** **difference**. I am probably one of those people.

I know I shouldn't be uploading a **new** story, but I couldn't help it! This story is way past its due for creation. This is also my fault for being lazy.

**So? What did you think?! **

Also, **ADS** stands for the **initials** of my account name, and are basically my** alias**.


	2. Learning of the Past

The sunny afternoon weather contrasted with the tense atmosphere clouding the Hokage's office. Tsunade had just given her answer to the five men before her, frustration obviously contorting her features. The pile of empty bottles behind her desk stood as extra proof of the blonde's dismay.

Decide to ask the most dreaded the most dreaded question Tsunade sighed, "So exactly what is it that you want, Akatsuki?"

"A medic." Pein replied.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes as a possibility arose in her mind, "It seems you already have someone in mind."

Pein was silent for a moment before answering, "Haruno Sakura."

"Hell no."

Tsunade and Pein stared at each other as Deidara and Kisame tried to hold back their laughter. Tsunade soon grew impatient and yelled at them to shut up, with a glare from Pein completing the task. He turned back to Tsunade, "Is there a problem with my preferred choice?"

"More than blondie can count." She replied, ignoring the "Hey!" from behind him, "In any case, I can't let you take her. Don't make any assumptions as to the reason though."

"Explain to me, your so called reasoning."

Tsunade was silent for a moment before asking, "Would you like to see her?"

"Why do we have to go so far for one medic, and she's the one that killed Sasori too." Deidara grumbled.

"I can't help but agree. Why do you want her so much?" Tsunade asked, already knowing the answer.

"The Godaime's apprentice, best friend of the Kyubbi jinchuriki, with ties to the Sand Village." Pein replied, "In contrast, why are you so adamant about stopping me?"

"Above all other reasons, because I care for her." Tsunade grumbled.

"And what would those reasons entail?" Pein pushed.

"Well, we'll be there soon so I might as well tell you while you can still back out." Tsunade sighed, "As I'm sure you've noticed there have been no missions or reports regarding Sakura. One would think this is because of her hospital work, but to make a long story short it's because she's getting treatment."

Pein blinked at this as they approached the hospital only to move around to the back, where they saw a new building roughly half of its height. As they approached it, Sasori began getting more and more agitated.

"Calm down, puppet master. And the rest of you too." Tsunade threw out nonchalantly, "And don't throw out any 'we meet again' lines, because I can guarantee that you've never met before." She finished while opening the door and walking inside. The confused faces of the Akatsuki followed after with questions riddling their minds.

They entered a large white room the size of a house, with papers and books sprawled out across the floor. To the left was a decent-sized hazel couch with a coffee table bolted to the floor in front of it. The entire back wall up to the door on the right was covered in overstocked bookshelves, also bolted down. The walls and ceiling were covered in colored footprints and paint splashes, as well as markers and crayons. Then their attention was shifted to the right side of the room, which was covered in an assortment of poles and jungle gyms.

From one of the bars swung a girl in a white t-shirt and sweatpants, her long pink hair billowing behind her as her bare feet met the ground. Her bright emerald eyes shined in excitement as she jumped while yelling, "People!"

This prompted Tsunade to catch her in one hand before she could glomp the S-class criminals. The girl still held her hands out giddily to the group of men but was otherwise immobile. Tsunade put her down when she believed the girl to be calmed down enough.

The pinkette blinked up at Tsunade and asked, "Who are you?" She then ran and jumped to sit on the couch at the other end of the room.

Tsunade sighed, "Akatsuki, meet Sakura."

"…What the hell is wrong with her?" Deidara asked after a moment of silence.

"Good question." Tsunade sighed and scratched the back of her head, "One day we just found her like this in her room."

"Doesn't she seem to be ignoring us?" Kisame pointed out.

Tsunade turned to Sakura but was interrupted by her throwing the papers she had been reading into the air before moving to lie under the coffee table with her knees and elbows tucked under her, her face adamant about not leaving.

"I brought food." Tsunade said casually.

Sakura instantly shot up, making the table fly behind her. She then fell on the couch clutching the back of her head in pain. Then she shot up in realization pointing at the men and yelling, "People!" then wavering upon seeing Kisame, "…I think."

Tsunade sighed again and turned to face the Akatsuki, shoulders sagging, "Well, where should I start?" she asked them.

"The beginning." Pein answered instantly.

"Three years ago Ino went to pick Sakura up for her shift because she was late, which she rarely ever was. She just found her like this in her bed, no memories and lacking any logic. Apparently she didn't leave because she couldn't understand the door and the glass was like an invisible force field or the like. Ino left to call Shizune and when she came back Sakura again had no memory of ever meeting her before. Every single day we visited her hospital room, and every single day she forgot us. It was not limited to people though, she forgot her apartment right after she left it and many objects and words made no sense to her.

"After a full analysis, I realized I had not even a hint of an idea as to what is wrong with her." Tsunade looked to see her old pupil reading a book upside down on the couch, "We soon learned that her memory was not the only thing affected."

She turned her attention back to the men in front of her, "To put it simply, it was as if her brain was completely rewired. It's not all bad though."

"What do you mean?" Pein asked calmly.

"The first thing I noticed was how she forgot logical and meaningful elements such as memories, she remembers all of her jutsu and medical training. She didn't remember knowing it but when an anbu was carried into the hospital she healed him like it was nothing, with the expression and all. I had Shizune teach her to read while we were awaiting the results, and it took only forty minutes for her to be able to master reading at an adult level." Tsunade explained, recalling the memory.

"So she soaks up knowledge? Are you sure she didn't just remember?" Deidara asked skeptically.

"About two years ago, she grew tired of reading the same types of medical textbooks so I gave her one of mine. It contained information on acupuncture, which Sakura has never learned. She finished it that day, and when a critically injured patient came in we had no choice but to bring her in as I was unable to at the time. With no time to administer the anesthesia, all hope was lost. Sakura calmly applied acupuncture to temporarily paralyze the nerves to prevent pain and movement. She then healed him perfectly. One could've confused her for a specialist in that field." Tsunade chuckled, "Since then we've been feeding her every bit of technique and information that we could find. Unfortunately it appears that anything concerning other people or things that cannot be simply taught by information are wiped out at the switch to a new cycle."

The group was silent for a few moments as they let the information sink in. Then Kisame decided to interrupt with a question that has been bothering him for the past twenty or so minutes, "So, am I the only one that noticed her head fling the coffee table back? I mean it was bolted down and now it's broken." He looked from his partner to the rest of their group.

Tsunade blinked, "Oh, that's normal so I didn't think to mention it."

They looked at her blankly, "Normal?" Deidara asked.

Tsunade crossed her arms and shifted her weight, "I did mention there were changes, didn't I?"

"And these changes would be?" Sasori asked this time. His patience was waning and his temper rising.

Tsunade looked at him, irritation marring her features. She had hoped he would keep quiet throughout this whole ordeal, "Her limiters were removed." She stated plainly.

The men blinked at her so she decided to explain, "The human body is much more amazing than one would think. We can possess an incredible strength to lift boulders and run for miles on end. Abusing such abilities, however, harms the body."

Tsunade looked to Deidara, "For example, could you lift a five hundred pound boulder?"

"Of course not." He answered.

"Then, if that boulder was crushing you could you lift it?"

"I'd sure as hell try." he snorted.

"Exactly. In a life-or-death situation the body would respond by removing these limiters for survival. The consequences would be broken bones and strained tissue, a lot of pain and necessary recuperation but at least you'd live. In Sakura's case, these limiters have been removed completely. She can now use the strength she used to have with chakra enhancement naturally.

"We first learned this when she began throwing furniture during her tantrums. She broke many bones and had to be healed many times but because of the memory loss she kept repeating this process. Eventually her bones adapted to this by growing extremely strong as the body remembers what the mind does not. Now I can only see her bones being broken by strength like mine." Tsunade chuckled humorlessly.

"Do you have proof?" Deidara asked, again skeptical.

"I have experience." Tsunade smirked, "Do not anger her. I did on accident and caused a her-or-me situation. We both needed medics."

The men turned their attention to the seemingly harmless girl reading on the couch with her legs crossed in surprise. To think that this child put a Sannin in the hospital, it was unbelievable.

Pein turned back to Tsunade and asked the logical question, "What are the other side effects?"

Tsunade sighed and turned to look at her old apprentice fondly, "She's like a child in some sense. She needs help to do many things, never let her out of your sight, it is dangerous for her to be out alone, or even at all. The most prominent aspect is how if she doesn't see it it's not there."

The men looked at her with confusion on their faces.

Tsuande looked around the room as she explained, "For example, you see this building we're in?" they nodded, "To Sakura this is the world, for in the past three years she has never left these grounds. The world 'outside' is invalid to her. I'm sure that even if she left, she wouldn't remember the next day anyway."

* * *

Well, I'm finally updating again. This hiatus I unconsciously went on ashames me so I'm planning to update as much as possible starting yesterday!


	3. Hello and Hello Again

Disclaimer: Are we still on this?! No, I don't own Naruto now let me walk my dog already!

*****_Important announcement at bottom_

* * *

Silence permeated the room, making the once reading pinkette look up in confusion. Then surprise coated her features as she pointed at the group of men and once again yelled, "People!" Then she looked over to the tall blue-skinned missing-nin and added, "And fish."

Deidara snickered, prompting both Kisame and Sasori to smack him upside the head. Tsunade stared at them and then looked to Pein to see him pinching the bridge of his nose, similarly to how Tsunade does when concerning Naruto. She gave a sympathetic nod in his direction before steeling her features for the point at hand.

Pein moved to get a better view at the girl who was childishly poking her head out from behind the couch in curiosity, then asked the Hokage the necessary question at hand, "How good is she?"

Noting how this question should have already been answered, Tsunade realized the Akatsuki leader had an entirely different meaning at hand, "How about you consider her ability three years ago, and add that to my current ability _plus_ the ability to learn instantly. I believe there is not one procedure she cannot perform, even on the Uchiha there." She finished while gesturing with her head at the only member who had yet to speak in their little group.

Tsunade turned her head sharply at the sound of a snort coming from the bomber's direction. He gave her a skeptical look with his partner looking ready to stick him with a katana. Tsunade raised her eyebrow, "And, pray tell, what might you have to say?"

"I don't believe you." Deidara replied haughtily, eyes burning in defiance. Tsunade smirked.

"Well, I'm sure she'd be happy to demonstrate." The busty blonde said with an expression so demonic that Hidan would be frightened, before slowly turning towards the girl whose head was still poking out from behind the couch, "Sakura,"

Said girl perked up at the sound of her name being called, prompting Tsunade to continue, "Can you heal this person?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice.

Sakura tilted her head in confusion upon this request, "But I don't see hurt." She childishly pointed out.

Tsunade's smile grew wider, "Well we'll just have to do something about that, now won't we?"

The pinkette's mouth dropped cutely in realization, "I get it!" She then proceeded to use her hands to propel herself from the couch and land on her feet only six inches away from the blond bomber, making him flinch in surprise. Sakura grabbed him wrist loosely with her hand and stepped back until they were and arm's length apart. Then she tightened her grip.

And the crunch of bones was heard throughout the room.

The men all looked from the shocked and doubled over Deidara to the unchanging childish expression of the Sakura with a diversity of reactions. Pein was amused. Sasori was reminiscing of his own experience. Kisame was half shocked and half laughing. Itatchi sweatdropped. Tsunade grinned.

"Now, unfortunately, fix him."

Silently, the girl placed one hand under his arm as support and hovered the other over the wound. Her hand glowed green to numb the pain as Sakura set the bone and all fragments back into place before restoring the bone to its former glory. Sakura's eye twinkled when she finished.

Tsunade clicked her tongue, "You shouldn't have numbed the pain."

"I did bad?" Sakura asked with wide eyes.

"You did well, I just don't like him." Tsunade explained while patting the pinkette's head. She siled at the praise before shooting up as a thought crossed her mind.

"He?" she asked, shocked.

Tsunade blinked, "Yes, the man you just healed."

Sakura's mouth dropped in shock as she pointed accusingly at the man in question, "She is a he?!"

Deidara just about lost it at that point.

Kisame had to hold him back as Tsunade attempted to explain through puffs of laughter. Sakura just innocently held her finger to her lip in confusion, nodding every so often. While the remaining three men did not participate in the group's antics, they did however let their amusement show. It took about five minutes and a lollipop to settle the feud and return once again to the topic at hand.

Tsunade composed herself before readdressing the opposing leader's previous question, "As you could see, Sakura does some exemplary work." She began with a smirk in Deidara's direction, earning a glare from the blond, "However, if you are not satisfied with that example we'd be happy to oblige."

Pein raised his hand in a 'no thank you' gesture, "I am now entirely confident in my decision. However, after seeing her… condition, I believe there is some care needed. Would you mind explaining it to me?"

"Oh this is gonna be a long one." Tsunade mumbled before turning in the pinkette's direction, "Sakura!" Said girl turned sharply in the direction of the voice before looking surprised at the people behind the busty blonde, but before she could say anything Tsunade raised her hand in a silencing gesture,

"Yeah yeah, people, fish, trannie, now can you go into that room and get some booze?" Tsunade requested with a wave of her hand toward the door at the opposite end of the room, "Find the indent on the door, pull, bring some of the bottles. Gentlemen, if you would move over to the couch." She finished with a gesture to the sofa now void of its pink-haired occupant. Said girl came back seconds later with her arms full of different types of alcohol.

She dropped them onto Tsunade's lap before taking one for herself and running over to play on the jungle gym. As she was swinging, the girl downed the entire bottle in forty-five seconds flat and ran over to grab another bottle. Kisame chuckled at this, "Woah kid, slow down. How old are you anyways?"

Sakura blinked at him and turned to the drinking woman on the coach, "How old am I?"

"Nineteen." Tsunade replied through swigs of alcohol.

Sakura turned back to Kisame with a straight face, "I'm nineteen."

"Yeah, I got that." He sweatdropped.

Sakura jumped back in surprise and held her fingers to her temples, "Psychic!"

At that point Tsunade sat up in her seat, "Sakura there's a reindeer in the exercise room hat wants to play."

The pinkette shot and dashed out of the doorway she had used before while yelling, "Reindeer means Santa! Me want presents Santa!"

The men looked at the blonde coolly sipping her bottle, "You get used to it." She answered.

"Okay, first up is a nurse. You have a woman in the organization correct? Can you have her be Sakura's personal watcher?" Tsunade questioned the man on her left.

"Is she uncomfortable around guys or something?" Deidara asked.

"Quite the opposite." Tsunade replied, "Sakura sees humans as a single body. While she can differentiate between genders like any other normal person, she does not understand the personal aspects. She also feels no fear. Therefore I don't think it wise to have a hyperactive nineteen year old who's as clingy as a child to be forced upon a guy. Especially if she destroys what she doesn't like."

Deidara shut up and Pein then decided to break the silence with his answer, "I'm sure Konan will do fine as Ms. Haruno's caretaker."

"You don't need to use honorifics, she doesn't get them anyway. Also, do not ever let her get bored." Tsunade urged.

Kisame was skeptical, "If that's the case, then why don't you just get her a tv?"

The busty blonde sighed as her brow creased at the memory, "Sakura is very opinionated. A show she didn't like came on, we found the remote lodged in the screen. A character was stupid, tv met wall. After four tv funerals we decided it was not the best idea."

Then Tsunade blinked as a thought crossed her mind, "Actually, now that we are on this topic, there is a manual."

The men stared at her before Pein voiced the question, "A manual?"

"Yes, a handwritten manual on caring for Sakura. No term for her condition exists so we decided to call it Sakura Syndrome, this will appear quite often in the text. Come with me back to my office, well Pein anyway. The rest of you go back to the hotel and wait." Tsunade ordered them, with Pein giving the go-ahead.

"Oh, and one more thing," Tsunade casually brought up as she and Pein walked behind the other Akatsuki members, "How resilient is your stupidest member?"

"Immortal." Pein blinked.

Tsunade smirked, "Good, 'cuz he'll be dying a lot."

Pein looked ahead and copied the Sanin's expression, "And that just finalized my decision."

* * *

Hello everyone! **ADS here with an important announcement!**

I have officially** uploaded my update schedule **onto my profile**!**


End file.
